Entry 4: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Indy Timeline:  1957

Released:  2008

The fourth Indy film opens with a dissolve of the iconic paramount logo to a computer generated prairie dog mound and closes with a decidedly creepy priest marrying off the title character.  Indiana Jones the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (IJatKotCS for short) is a disaster from start to finish.  I reviewed the movie somewhat favorably as part of my DVD blog over a year ago (click HERE).  Upon revisiting the movie – particularly after having just re-watched the first three movies – it is evident that I was far too generous. 

The plot is overly complicated, and this is made worse by the clunky screenwriting.  The basic adage of “show, don’t tell” is ignored at every turn.  Everything is EXPLAINED to death, but somehow this doesn’t clarify things and only succeeds in distancing the audience from the material.  I have watched the “diner scene” in which the history and importance of the Crystal Skull is explained ten times now and I still find it confusing. 

The action sequences upset me in this movie because Indy has been transformed into an invincible Spiderman character in spite of the fact that he is nearly 70 years old.  One of the best elements of the character in the previous movies (especially Raiders) is the notion that he is always in slightly over his head.  He is not an ideal athlete/action hero – he runs and jumps somewhat awkwardly, he gets hurt, and he just barely scrapes by.  In Skull, they try to recreate this with exposition by having Indy say something like: “I’m getting too old for this”, but then he will web-sling with his whip great distances and run full speed across narrow ceiling rafters, impervious to the gunfire directed his way. 

In the protracted (and dull) chase sequence that is the second half of the movie, the “Mac” character actually tells the audience “this is very dangerous” as his truck flies along a cliff side at high speeds and the protagonists dodge small arms fire.  I can’t imagine Indy telling the audience “Boy, this sure is dangerous!” while running from the boulder in Raiders, racing in the minecar in Temple, or fighting for his life on the tank in Crusade. The over-the-top action sequences (including a nuclear explosion) never seem to harm anyone, which sterilizes the experience and takes all the thrills/sense of danger (and fun) out of it.


The characters themselves are also weak and unappealing in Skull.  Mac, Oxley, Mutt, Dovchenko, Spalko, and General Ross are all pretty damned forgettable.  They lack the charisma and the appeal of the great supporting characters that made up the previous films (Marcus Brody, Sallah, Henry Jones Sr., to name a few).  Karen Allen has been carted back out to reprise her role as Marion, but her character has been stripped of all the fire and excitement that made her so great in the first film.  Instead, Marion has been demoted to just another part of Team Indy, and comes off as an adoring soccer mom along for the ride rather than the worldly, hard-nosed Marion of Raiders.  Her shining moment in the film comes when she drives a duck boat onto a tree. 

Though it pains me to admit, Harrison Ford’s performance of Indy is also lackluster.  He is monotone, grumpy, and dour for most of the film.  Indy’s sense of adventure and intellectual curiosity seem to be replaced with a sense of “been there, done that” going through the motions. 

All of these elements add up to a collective groan.  If they don’t care, why should I?  Why is Mutt crying over Oxley again?  Why is the Skull “un-be-lievable”?  Why is the plotline involving the government’s investigation of Indy dropped as soon as it is brought up?  Why does everyone keep flipping hats over their shoulders?  Why do the Russians all seem harmless and non-threatening?  Who are all these characters?  CGI-Monkeys?  Refrigerators?  Crotch-shots?  CGI-Ants?  Is this a video game?  What is an Uga tribe?  Who is Mac, again?  3 times it drops?  Space between spaces?  Knowledge was their treasure? 

My final impression is that this movie was patched together- based on different elements from different Indy IV scripts from over the years.  One part of the Lucas/Spielberg/Ford trio would read a script and like a certain aspect of it and demand for it to be in the final script.  In the end, you get a mish-mashed disaster.  As a fan of Indy, and a native to New Haven, I was thrilled to watch this movie get made and to have the chance to audition to be an extra.  As a film and part of the Indy canon, however, Crystal Skull does more harm than good.   

Indy Rating: 2.5/10