Entry 9: Passion for Life

The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles

Indy Timeline: 1908

The second Young Indiana Jones “movie” is every bit as strange as the first one in that it awkwardly splices two unrelated episodes together.  This time, the Frankenstein monster is even slower in pace than the first. 

The first half of the movie puts young Henry in Kenya around 1908.  The opening sequence features some cheesy music (feel the wonder) and lots of shots that could have been lifted from an old National Geographic special about sub-Saharan African wildlife.  I was thrown by the varying quality of the visuals in these sequences and throughout the entire episodes.  Sometimes the picture is relatively clear, but other times, the film quality drops dramatically and it looks like low-grade b-roll footage.  It is at times grainy, fuzzy, and washed out. 

This can be disorienting, as can the curious decisions regarding the camera angles.  For example, when young Indy is first taught how to fire a gun, they unexpectedly cut to a “first person” perspective reminiscent of the “Doom” video game (and film).  I found this to be disorienting, especially when coupled with the ever-changing image quality of the shots on the screen.

In terms of the plot, Corey Carrier returns and looks very young (9 or 10) for this first half of the episode.  His father links up with former President Theodore Roosevelt while he is on safari with a group of hunters.  Along the way, Indy makes friends with Roosevelt and a local tribal boy, Meto. 

While some of the (many) shots of the African landscapes are beautiful, things move at a very slow pace.  At one point, while Indy and his new little friend are wandering around.  They see a snake on a rock.  Carrier points to it and yells: “SNAAAAAKEE!”  He and Meto run away.  That is about as exciting as this episode gets.

Teddy Roosevelt spends a lot of time instilling wisdom in young Indy, noting that the wilderness is important (he did create the National Parks).  He teaches Indy how to shoot a gun and asks for Indy’s help in tracking down an antelope.  The premise is kind of weird- I didn’t realize that Henry Jones Sr. was so famous that he goes on holiday with former Presidents, but whatever, I’ll roll with it. 

For the second straight episode, Indy manages to get lost (while looking for the antelope).  He finds it with the help of Meto, but not until after his mother has been “worried sick” about his running off and TR yells at him for being irresponsible. 

Indy ultimately leads TR to the antelope and TR shoots a bunch of them before young Indy flips out and starts flailing wildly, yelling “NO MORE!” He then wrestles the gun out of Roosevelt’s hands.  It is an awkward moment, but TR attempts to smooth things over by saying “Quite right!  Bully good for you.”

Indy gives Meto a pair of binoculars and suddenly the family is on a boat to France. 

In this “bridging” sequence on the boat, all of the actors have aged, especially Carrier (who looks 16) and his tutor Mrs. Seymour (who looks roughly 110).  Carrier's features have changed as he now has a heavy jaw and droopy eyes.  Regardless, this next adventure is also set in 1908 (or 1909) and involves an adventure in Paris.

Mr. and Mrs. Jones are off to wine country and Indy is left under the supervision of Mrs. Seymour.  Once again, even in a limited role, Indy’s mother strikes me as eerie, creepy, and ghostlike with her over-the-top saccharine sweet demeanor. 

Indy and Mrs. Seymour visit the Louvre, where they view famous works, including the Mona Lisa. 

Mrs. Seymour:  “Her eyes follow you, wherever you go.”

Corey Carrier: “EVEN IN THE BATHROOM!?!?!?  HAHAHA!”

Jeez.

It is at this point, that Indy and Mrs. Seymour meet a 14 year old American boy, an aspiring painter named Norman Rockwell.  Shortly thereafter, Mrs. Seymour entrusts Norman with Indy’s care and returns to the hotel. 

All of this is very weird- Norman is a complete stranger and only a few years older than Indy.  It is weird that he is unaccompanied in the streets of Paris.  It is weirder still that he would WANT to hang out with a 9 year old all day.   

In any case, Indiana Jones and Norman Rockwell walk into a bar and bump into Pablo Picasso arguing with Edgar Degas.  One thing leads to another before Picasso befriends the two boys and brings them to his studio where they meet Picasso’s friend, competitor, and collaborator, Georges Braque. 

There is a brief discussion of cubism before the wildly extroverted Picasso brings the boys to a brothel to pick up some French prostitutes to go to a dancehall.  The pimps who run the brothel are furious that Picasso has absconded (once again) with their “property” and track down the group at the dancehall.  A three-stooges style brawl breaks out and Indy “knocks out” one of the pimps by winding up a toy airplane and throwing it at him. 

There are “fun facts” about these historical figures sprinkled throughout the episode (Picasso carried a gun and would shoot it in the air sometimes), but most of it is pretty silly and sometimes just factually incorrect (like Norman Rockwell alone in Paris at 14). 

After more slapstick involving the pimps chasing Indy and Norman around in a cemetery, we learn that Mrs. Seymour is worried sick because Indy has “gone missing”.  How many times does Indy go missing in this series?  It has happened in 3 of the 4 episodes I have watched now (or 2 of 2, depending on how you count) and sometimes he “goes missing” more than once in a single episode.  I guess there aren’t a ton of plotlines for a 10 year old boy without any supernatural powers, but this lack of originality is starting to get silly. 

Mrs. Seymour punishes Indy for having run off and locks him in the hotel.  He finds his way out by climbing through a window and attempting to shimmy down the side of the hotel.  The way these shots are edited is disorienting and misleading.  In one shot, it looks like Indy is about 10 feet off the ground, but then it cross cuts to another where it looks like he is 40 feet off the ground.  These shots alternate back and forth until Indy falls off the roof.  For a moment, it looks like he plunged to his death, but it turns out he is fine. 

He runs off to a party at Picasso’s place, and it is pretty wild.  Braque wanders around in blackface and Henri Rousseau turns up to tell a story.  Mrs. Seymour tracks down Indy to bring him home, but Picasso takes her hostage at gunpoint.  He leads her into the back room, where he “draws her portrait”.  Although Picasso points his gun directly at Mrs. Seymour’s head at one point, she leaves the experienced impressed and somewhat enamored with Picasso and his work. 

The episode wraps up with Picasso giving Indy an awkward hug. 

This is a really freakin’ weird show, but it’s still better than Crystal Skull. 

Indy Rating: 3.5/10