Entry 11: Travels with Father

Young Indiana Jones Chronicles

Indy Timeline: 1909/1910

Set in 1909 and 1910, “Travels with Father” once again takes two separate stories and awkwardly stitches them together into a 90 minute “movie”.  The first half of the story takes place in Russia, where Henry Jones Sr. is continuing his lecture circuit.  We join little Indy – along with his parents and tutor Mrs. Seymour – on the train en route to Russia.  Corey Carrier is filled with nervous energy as young Indy and can’t sit still.

While his family sleeps in the car, he decides to take out his baseball bat and ball to “practice” in the train car.  This less than bright idea results in lighting fixtures and assorted other bits of furniture being destroyed.  Lloyd Owen returns as Henry Jones Sr. and does a respectable job of channeling Sean Connery as he bellows “not one word!” as he disciplines Indy.

Things go from bad to worse as Indy goes on to destroy the elaborate dessert cake (and a bunch of fine china) at the royal ball his family is attending that night.  The ever terrifying Ruth de Sosa, playing Indy’s mom, marches him up to bed and informs him that he “will be shot in the morning” for his transgressions.  Unsurprisingly, this leads to Corey Carrier once again RUNNING OFF.  As discussed in previous entries, this is a motif in this show.  So far, I count four separate incidents (run off in Morocco, Kenya, Paris, and now once again in Russia). 

Anyway, he ends up in a haystack somewhere in a field.  He is armed with a slingshot and inadvertently shoots an old man in the buttocks with it.  Lucky for Indy, this old man happens to be Leo Tolstoy. 

The two quickly develop a rapport of sorts, although it is couched in intensive bickering, which is supposed to add to comic relief.  This is all a bit weird, but the two of them end up playing baseball and discussing life as runaways (Tolstoy fled from his family and pretended to be a peasant at this stage of his life).  At one point, they end up hitchhiking with some gypsies and Corey Carrier asks them if they know how to rub their tummies and pat their heads at the same time.  In a rare feat of physical prowess, he demonstrates the move to his fellow passengers. 

There are some interesting facts in here (interspersed with loads of fiction) - Tolstoy is beloved as a hero by the peasantry (even though they couldn’t read his books), Cossacks are sent in to brutally break up a gypsy camp in the countryside, Tolstoy is skeptical about the Russian church.  These details are interesting and seem historically accurate – not bad. 

When Tolstoy is beaten badly by the Cossacks in the Gypsy camp, a terrified Carrier helps him recover and both agree to return back to their families rather than carry out their trek to New Jersey as planned.  Indy and Tolstoy return to the author’s home and Indy’s parents are informed that their boy has been found.  His distraught mother and father (“he’s never done anything like this before!”**) are relieved to find out that their son is just fine.  There is a humorous moment when Henry Jones Sr. realizes that his son has been hanging out with Leo Tolstoy. 

All in all, this was not a bad episode – while the acting was not great throughout, it was pretty well written, had some basic historical information in it, and had a distinct beginning, middle, and end. 

However, that is not the end of “Travels with Father”.  Moments after the reunion in Russia, the family is on the move again, this time to Athens.  Mrs. Seymour is feeling ill and is bedridden, and while Mrs. Jones initially feigns an interest in caring for her, she quickly runs off to be with some of her friends.  This leaves Indy along with Henry Jones Sr., and sets up an adventure for just the two of them (45 minutes in, we now know where the title of the episode comes from). 

This premise seems to be a good one, and given that I really haven’t minded the acting of Lloyd Owen on this show, I thought it had potential. 

The story starts with a discussion in an ancient Athenian amphitheatre about Aristotle’s use of deductive reasoning and syllogisms.  This bit of exposition is fine, and relatively educational, but the effort to insert excitement into these scenes falls flat.  At one point, Owen is discussing mortality and dramatically “plays dead”.  Corey Carrier quickly goes from being mildly amused to a wild panic “father?  Father?  - FATHER!!! FATHER!!!!!”  Henry Sr. turns out to be just fine - he was only play-acting to illustrate a point. 

The real shocker on this adventure comes a few scenes later after father and son lose their transport and have to hitchhike to get to their destination- the “Hanging Monasteries” (Simonopetra).  Their new vehicle is filthy and they decide to go skinny dipping together in the Aegean Sea to clean up.  Unfortunately for the Joneses, a flock of sheep eats their clothes and they are forced to wander about Greece in the nude. 

This was surprising to me, for while there are no penises on display here, there is a lot of bear man ass.  Henry Sr. holds a briefcase over his pubic area and Carrier uses a little plant.  They are completely exposed from the rear.  I’m not sure how this was aired on network television. 

Eventually, they find an old woman who gives them some traditional Greek clothes to wear (and perhaps something more).  Next comes a slapstick sequence in which they meet a man in a cart named Aristotle, who has a donkey named Socrates.  What follows is a parody of the Abbott and Costello skit “Who’s on First?”, only much lamer. 

Henry Senior: “Socrates believed in XYZ.”

Aristotle: “Socrates didn’t say that!”

Henry Senior: “Yes he did!”

Aristotle: “He can’t talk, he’s a DONKEY!”

Corey Carrier: “HEEEEE HAWWWWW!!!  Hurhurhur!  Buhhh.”  (drool)

What the fuck is this show?  Really?  What does this have to do with the daring adventurer I know and love from Raiders of the Lost Ark? 

Anyway, they eventually arrive at the Hanging Monasteries, which are real and look cool on screen.  After spending a few days in the mountains (Indy writes a paper on “causality theories”), father and son try to make their way home, but hit a potentially fatal snag.

The rickety elevator contraption used to lift visitors to and from the monastery breaks, leaving Indy and father stuck and suspended 100 feet off the rocky floor!  Making matters worse, none of the Monks above realize what has happened.  Being trapped on this rickety wooden elevator at this height seems like a dangerous situation, but this is made much worse when Princeton Professor Henry Jones Sr. PhD decides to light a fire in the middle of the floor to “keep them warm”.  To their horror, this fire ends up burning through the wood and causes the floor to fall out from the elevator. 

Fortunately, both father and son are able to turn to Ancient Greek philosophy to help them get out of their bind.  “We need a ladder, a ladder is made of wood, this elevator is made of wood, ERGO this elevator is a ladder.”  As the rope above them starts to fray, Henry Sr. and son break the elevator into pieces to assemble a makeshift ladder to help them shimmy back to the top of the Monastery.  The special effects here are very weird- some sort of low budget green-screen and CGI effects are used to show the rope snap right before our eyes as father and son scramble to safety.

Relieved to have survived the ordeal, they vow not to tell Mrs. Jones of their near death experience.  Upon returning to the hotel, everyone is in good spirits (although Mrs. Seymour is in some sort of giant tricycle wheelchair to help with her recovery).  There is a cheesy joke about how much fun Henry Sr. and Indy had together on their travels and everyone hugs. 

Indy Rating: 4.5/10

** see paragraph 3